Archive for March 16th, 2009

I see Jesus in my oatmeal!


Only people who God really loves can see it...

Only people who God really loves can see it...

Jesus was spotted again.  He was apparently seen in a very holy place–on a seat-cushion in a small Catholic church on the island of Reunion in the Indian Ocean.  The King of Kings, enthroned in glory, on the thing you put your butt on…um…sure.  I know he had humble beginnings and everything, but golly.  You can read about the whole thing here.




I think that the whole Jesus-images-on-things is being managed very poorly.  We could make a whole lot more money if we weren’t so limited–if we didn’t just limit our visions to Jesus in seat cushions, toast, oatmeal, and grilled cheese sandwiches.  Can’t we manage to create more of a spiritual aura than a day-old grilled cheese?  I have a great idea for really capitalizing on this phenomenon: let’s create images of Muhammed, Buddha, Confucius, Baha’u’llah, and Moses in random things that we want to sell in order to up their resale value and finance our new LCD 60 inch TV: your old car, used jeans, discarded computer components (you’d have to etch the image really really small).  We could have a line for all people who want to have an image in their oatmeal to adore over breakfast.  We could sell Bono on toast, and we could charge admission into our backyards to see the little image of Hitler in the dog doo.  Appropriately.

The face of Homer Simpson on a gourd.  Kept in the Secret Vatican Archives. ahem.

The face of Homer Simpson on a gourd. Kept in the Secret Vatican Archives. ahem.




Oh, the things we could do!  But please don’t suggest thinking too hard about it.  God forbid we use our God-given reason and scripture together to determine what is true from what is false.  Then things would be way more boring and definitely less lucrative for all of us.  





The one on the right sold for $25,000.   Almost %100 profit!  I'm in!

The one on the right sold for $25,000. I'm in!

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I figured that I’d celebrate St. Patrick’s Day tomorrow by going to London, so I’ll be taking a short break from my blog.  But when I get back, it’s on!

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I’m frustrated today.  I’m frustrated at so many things related to our economy, as I’m sure everybody is, but I feel like there are so many things to be said and most of them are staying around the water-coolers and aren’t making it to the blogs or to the bigger news services.  In fact, practically the only place I’ve heard any of them is on The Daily Show.  (Read my post about it here.) 


There are, to be sure, lots of things to get angry at, but I’m frustrated by the things that aren’t in the news.  Sure, there’s the stuff Obama said this morning, which was good, but my anger goes further.


I’m angry that the entire country has been, for a long time, conducting itself in an orgy of spending on credit with no regard for personal fiscal responsibility.  Individuals have done this, and the government has done this.  And people have capitalized on this practice and made billions of dollars in profit.  I’m angry that almost nobody is talking publicly about the underlying root of the problem: Americans must reign in our slobbering greed and our lust to be seen as richer than we are and exercise some responsibility, some restraint, some patience.  We have a lottery mentality, a mindset that getting rich should happen to me, and someone else ought to hand me the money, as we chant our national mantra of “We have rights!”


I’m angry that we, individuals, will have 4 or 5 credit cards (and that’s being conservative!) and think it’s ok.  I’m angry that the government continues to spend more than it has, and everyone just grumbles and wrings their hands and says, “Well, what can you do?”  I’m angry that companies like Bank of American will target people when the come into the bank and try to sell credit cards to them—credit cards that will only hurt them and put them deeper in debt.  And tellers have quotas they must fill—quotas of selling credit cards to people who don’t need them to make a bank more money so they can give more multi-million dollar bonuses to their executives.


I’m angry that some people in this crisis who have been ethically corrupt and profited off of others’ misfortune are enjoying life while others desperately struggle to figure out how to pay for hospice care for their dying mother, wondering how they’ll make their house payment, even though they’ve done everything right and always paid their obligations, even at monumental personal expense, just because it’s right.  And nobody gives them an award.


I’m angry at the banks that have been throwing lavish parties with bailout money from taxpayers, and I’m angry that the government keeps giving them bailout money without exercising more control over the company’s operations.  I’m angry.  Angry that people who make sacrifices to pay their bills and meet their obligations are ignored, but fools who have made unwise choices and continue to do so time and time again are rewarded with bailout money with little oversight.

 The words of James in the New Testament are particularly apt today, and I cling to them:

1Now listen, you rich people, weep and wail because of the misery that is coming upon you. 2Your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten your clothes. 3Your gold and silver are corroded. Their corrosion will testify against you and eat your flesh like fire. You have hoarded wealth in the last days. 4Look! The wages you failed to pay the workmen who mowed your fields are crying out against you. The cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty. 5You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter.  6You have condemned and murdered innocent men, who were not opposing you.”

-James 5:1-6

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